There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
