Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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