I feel like abortions should bother me more
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
