Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize