I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
