I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
