I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
