Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
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I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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