ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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