And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
