Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My vagina is very pro this idea
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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