So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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