I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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