at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
