Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
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So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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