In the future we'll all be gay
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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