is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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