Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
