nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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