I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
