Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
