I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize