You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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