you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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