I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
