Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
