The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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