dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
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so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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