SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
