Walk of Shame. In a state park.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
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Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
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You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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