no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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