also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize