So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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