Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high people should be assigned attendants
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize