I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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