It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
