This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
