I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You can't special order awesome
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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