I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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