it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
false alarm, still single
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
