I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize