It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
