with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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