I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize