I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
