Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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