We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
