Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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