Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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