The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
