Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
