oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
