dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
