I wish I could punch you in the face.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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