sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
