btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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