Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
