Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
They are going to name an STD after you.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
