You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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