"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
