Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I want a musical about memes.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
