You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
