put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
