alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
