forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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