i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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