You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
