I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
