just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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