we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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