Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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