My nipple is on Facebook.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
