I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
